I hear it time and time again. “I want to feel good!”
At this time it seems like the world is falling apart. Oil is leaking into the Gulf of Mexico and there is no end in sight. The economy stinks and it seems no amount of stimulus will bring it back. Terrorist want to kill us. Every day we turn on the news hoping for a reason to feel better.
That is the problem.
I was reading an email from a guy who was complaining about all of the terrible stuff that was going on and how it made him feel bad. he was pulling every self help trick in the book to make himself happy again. That is the biggest self help mistake you can make. The myth is that you can feel wonderful all the time if you can just use enough happy fluffy feelings. It is a tragedy that fuels a lot of the self help industry. Now I am going to tell you the hidden truth that no one wants you to know.
Sometimes life sucks.
Sorry to pop your bubble but it is true. Sometimes it is perfectly reasonable to feel like crap. The problem occurs when you feel like crap and it paralyzes your life.
Feeling good is like an addictive drug. People chase it. Then they can’t live without it. They gobble up medications for it. It is as if that have been convinced that they are supposed to feel good all the time or something is wrong with them. It is one of the most misguided ideas every presented yet it fuels the self help industry.
Life is about balance. Having a bad day or 3 is normal. Having a bad 6 months is a problem. The concept that gets lost in all of this fairytale happiness is that it is normal to feel bad sometimes.
I have a guy who has made great progress using the 3D Mind but he is still trapped in the old self help mindset that life is a fluffy good feeling all the time. So when he has ONE BAD DAY…he assumes that nothing worked and his life is miserable. He does not even give himself a chance to come out of it normally. Admittedly this guys life really was crap before he started. Now he seems so paranoid that he might feel that way again that every little bump in the road generates panic. That is how it goes. You clean one thing up and then something else presents itself. Now he has something else to work on.
Yes oil spills and recessions and wars all stink. Having a bad days stinks. That is natural. Strength and character are not developed by running away from these problems. They develop by living your life in spite of the fact that you don’t feel good. Tools like the 3D Mind help you when you get stuck but they should not be a shield for every little bad feeling you ever have.
It is possible to be happy every single day. These people just need a slap across the face and a reality check.
Was their boss mean to them at work? WAH WAH. Get over it. They are not slaving their life away into an early grave building the pyramids. They are not stuck in a prison cell with little food and water, sitting in their own urine waiting for their execution. They aren’t stuck knee deep in murky water in the trenches hoping a piece of shrapnel won’t blow into their face.
The whole world was hit with this recession. It’s a bit selfish to throw a pity party over it.
We all have it bad. If your life is unsatisfactory then try volunteering with some community projects to give yourself some worth and help make the world better for everyone.
Unfortunately crap happens but when we look back through time things were 1000 times worse than they are now, I don´t know about you people but I am happier knowing I was born into this era than being a 19 year old carted off to war in the 1940´s, living through countless famines, war, civil war, financial depressions that make these economic times looks like a joke.
People are too namby pamby and need a dose of reality to their systems. Our nervous systems will never heal or adapt or change until we do the hard work and take action by learning to adapt or survive. Things like rejection are a part of life and instead of feeling conditioned to hate or feel bad about rejection learn to embrace and love it, rejection to me is an opportunity to improve my game or to understand the fact that I missed something.
The World is Falling Apart……
Tom Vizzini gives us a reality check. Do we need to feel good all the time? Where has the self-help industry broken down? Is there a simpler way forward?…
I find that actively looking for solutions to stuff happening, really helps- directing energy into trying to solve the problem bugging you – the oil spill for example- I wrote to BP with my idea for blocking the hole with sand (using the priciple of the ‘world’ project in Dubai) and lookign at the physics and possibilies. For the money shortage- I’m looking at how freecycle and freeconomy work.
Most people are looking for happiness but few ever experience it because they are looking for an emotional feeling(high)but like my friend said”Happiness is a state of mind”…Aha!
I guess that you can have a good day or a bad depending on your perspective. Now in my professional life I have been on “Mr Toads wild ride for a while. If everytime I had a bad day, I went balistic, I would be in the looney bin. It is all about balance. Some day chicken and some day feathers…In the long run you will prosper. If I lose a client, I find another one to replace the one I lost. You do everything you can for your clients and put your clients first and the rest will take care of itself. If I thought that the 3-D mind could cure the market, I would make millions. I am content that it has given me balance and a new perspective on my life and how I run my business.
Good reminder