Stop Fighting Yourself

Stop Fighting yourself

OK it was 5:30 am... I was awake. Why fight it? My list of things to do is getting shorter.

-London seminar for next year… Set.

-Website redesign… Moving along even with my being slow in getting things to the designers.

-Possible Hong Kong Seminar… Getting started.

-Getting back in shape from allowing myself to become a fat slob

Still this morning my brain kicked in and there was no way to get back to sleep. So why fight it?

Then I was thinking. I often find myself fighting myself. I was thinking this morning that I need to sleep because I should not be up yet. The sun is not up yet. I wil be tired later.

I find that many people get caught in this trap. They think they know who they are supposed to feel or what they are supposed to do. They end up fighting with themselves instead of just dealing with it and moving on.

For example, you have a bad day. You feel like crap. Well if you subscribe to the self help guru mentality you should find your happy place or try to fix it or hypnotize yourself into feeling better or meditate the bad feeling away…..

Rarely do you get this choice. Just feel like crap for a while.

What is this madness that I speak? We are not supposed to feel bad. We are supposed to want to always feel good. All the self help books say I should avoid pain. I need a fire walk and a Prozac and all will be well!

What happens next? You begin to stress because you are not relaxing. Then you stress about relaxing and feeling good. Now you are so focused on feeling good that you can’t relax. You spend weeks trying to fix it and eventually sign up for a retreat in the desert where you chant for 12 hours a day and sit in a sweat lodge until you pass out.

Now you are fighting yourself to avoid feeling bad.

It is actually easier to just fell like crap.

When is feeling bad a real problem? Well if it goes longer than a week I would consider doing something about it. If you have a bad day there is nothing to freak out about…. it is normal. The world will not stop spinning because you are overwhelmed for a day.

Sometimes what is happening is not a personal change problem…it is just life, deal with it.

Stop fighting yourself and accept this one little thing. Some days suck. Some weeks suck. When you fight your emotions you use more energy and get more stressed and tired.

Hey this is not for every situation. Even when days suck you have to go to work. You have to take care of your kids. You have to do some chores.

To those who think we always have to be happy and positive. Leave me the hell alone 🙂 I don’t have to be cheerful and feel good all the time.

Try this, the next time you feel like crap just allow yourself to feel it. If you are afraid allow yourself to feel it. If you have doubt allow yourself to feel it. For some of you it will be amazing how quickly it passes when you stop fighting it.