This is a great example of using the 3D Mind and the philosophy of change that it uses. Balancing is different than making you feel good about a problem. Recently Keiran wrote an article on our email group that really explains it well. With his permission I am posting it to our blog.
Having read the posts back and forth with Roi, something that I thought may or may not be useful to share is firstly around mindset and secondly around balance that has helped me a lot. It might however be useful firstly to note that I see 3DM is a tool and like any other tool and picking a good tool for the task in hand is always preferable. If you want to put a nail or screw into anything then in theory both a hammer and screwdriver can do both, its just that you get a much better result for the energy applied if you pick the most suitable one. The reason I like 3DM is that it’s whole underlying premise is on balance which Eastern philosophy has emphasised a key principle through various practices which feels healthy to me. It kinda explains why I was so drawn to the Chinese Martial Arts.
It terms of mindset, I really liked how Tom shared how people tend to see limited choices when certain emotional states arise which maybe can be described as a loss of balance. The natural healthy options seem to get reduced down to a win/lose scenario. Then when the emotional state changes, the options can then become open again e.g. remembering what you really wanted to say to the gorgeous woman after she is gone ….. lol !!!
One mindset that I like is around the term ‘cross training’ where someone can get really good at something without being 100% focused on it. Instead they focus on what elements they can work on that will help bring that particular thing about. There is a term used by one the pickup and dating community guys as ‘the illusive obvious’. I realised that I have used the cross training dynamic anywhere in life where I have good at something, it was just so obvious that I missed it. Now i see it a bit clearer, it has given me a measure of control.
To give an example, if there were three main areas in life, say Health, Wealth and Relationships, if a person was to take it even further into say nine areas such as Fitness, Work, Leisure, Spiritual growth, Sex, Hobbies, Education, Family and Nutrition just as examples. If these where shown as nine boxes on a piece of paper, it seems to be useful to put in the centre the one area that isn’t quite there yet. Then like cross training, allow the majority of focus and effort on the other eight boxes to support the middle one. I wonder if part of the reason this maybe helpful is along the lines of a Winston Churchill quote in that ‘the same thinking that gets you into a problem, is unlikely to get you out of it’. Maybe overly focusing on something can push it away and it changes a want to a need perhaps?
In terms of balance, something that I discovered about people that drew me was that they either openly or maybe un-obviously seemed to be good at at asking ‘what they want to be able to do’ + also ‘be genuinely thankful for what they had right now’……. wherever they were in life. They had a great balance in this area. Through working with this, it seems that 3DM question 1 brings up resistance if a person lacks a realistic appreciation for the improvements they have already made. It seems to be a neurological catch 22.
I experimented by journaling for 2 weeks, 50 things a day which I was happy about already (which was pretty tough work at times) and found that the 3DM question 1 then flowed much easier. It felt like question 1 then became more like ‘What to I want to able to do MORE of?’ as it was in my life already and just wanted more to find the balance that was right for me.
No idea if this is useful or not but thought that it might be worth sharing to give back in appreciation for the fantastic help I have gotten from everyone on the list. Learning something from every post as see that there is a lot of truth in ‘a person becomes what they practice’.
Cheers
Kieran
Kieran,
Just a short note to tell you that I really appreciate the above note, It really puts life into perspective. Balance is a good thing.
Norm Hayden
Hi Kieran and Tom,
This is a very important distinction I’ve been noticing for the past year or so as well…
It seems like the better you percieve your life to be, the less desperate you are for a change and the better the 3dmind works.
And I found that both happens by doing the type of thing you said which is looking at the full part of the cup, and also by getting active and finishing tasks towards what you want in life. Both seem to raise levels of happiness which helps in doing the 3dmind more effective.
I also think that, getting out of a desperate, depressed mindset into a happier mindset is something seperate from the 3dmind. Thus it is wrong to treat 3dmind as a happiness tool. Its a tool that removes the blocks. Designing the life you want and putting the neccesary effort to build it is still a persons responsibility.