The Blame Game….
As long as you look for someone to blame for your problems you will NEVER find any solutions.
I recently ran into a guy that had the perfect answer for everything. It was all the fault of someone else. I met the guy and we had a talk. His wife didn’t understand him. His friends had all drifted away from him. His business was not going well. He was on his 4th marriage. Of course they were all psycho in his opinion.
Yet…
He was convinced he had done everything right. Hey I know the nature of my business is that I deal with people who have problems and need guidance. I know they are confused and that they need direction. Lately though I have met more people who are in denial of what a miserable life they have and how what they are doing is NOT WORKING.
What they all seem to have in common is that they have become emotional basket cases and professional victims. Their reaction is interesting. They try and control everyone around them in order to keep their fragile emotions safe and protected. They try to learn things that they think will make the strong so they can never be hurt.
This is the exact opposite of what they need. You don’t become strong by hiding from where you are weak. You don’t become tough by putting more layers of padding between you and the world. You don’t solve problems by pretending you are fine and the rest of the world is doing things wrong.
Stop fooling yourself. The rest of the world is not going to put up with conforming to how you need to protect your feelings. No one is going to change their lives to accommodate your inability to deal with feeling bad.
Step one is to see the truth. Admit you are scared hurt or fragile. It is okay to feel that way. What is important is your ability to be resilient. Feel like crap and then move on. The answer is not to avoid anything that will make you feel like crap.
The Blame Game is just one more way to keep up the illusion of invulnerably and control. So the next time you find yourself looking for someone to blame… maybe you should look in the mirror and deal with the person you see there FIRST.
