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 test for negative content |
| Posted On Dec 22, 2007 at 1:46 AM |
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WarriorLite
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Hi I'm writing about a problem I have been suspecting existence of for a long time.
I have this friend of mine whom I really like. However, I have been getting this increasing suspicion that he advertently tries to manipulate me, as well as other people, for that matter. He is even known for his skills in this area.
And I have recently noticed something which immediately somehow seemed familiar.
He asked me about my girlfriend - just what's up. I said all's well, we plan to have a trip, just two of us. And before I finished he said something in a low tone, not quite articulate, expressing mild disapproval and boredome - that's how I received it - and immediately almost forgot. I tend to think it's not for the first time. When I mention my girlfriend, quite often in response to his direct question about her, I get such a "subliminal" feedback.
Why does it concern me? Well, I'm a little afraid of this influence, especially the long-term effects (not sure if it's real or imaginary - I have no slightest idea how to deal with it.
Considering myself rather naive I do not trust my observations, besides I somehow get submissive and exhibit all my secrets before him. This is not balanced by his openness, though.
If this is manipulation, my sincere question may not result in a sincere answer. It could even unmask my awareness and lead to his changing the tactic.
Please share your views. Does the above relate somehow to some NLP knowledge? Any way to deal with it through NLP?
I am not NLP literate yet. But in the context of influence I have come across such terms as "patterns" and "anchors" which may be used to instil certain attitudes. Still, as you can see, I am deep in the forest.
Is there a way to tell a manipulation? Are there in the above any hallmarks of it?
Maybe I am being overly suspicious?
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| Re: test for negative content |
| Posted On Dec 22, 2007 at 11:52 AM |
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caputmartem
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Sounds to me like you have more then one problem. Why would you want this guy as a friend when you think he is going to manipulate you in a bad way?
Etienne
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| Re: test for negative content |
| Posted On Dec 22, 2007 at 12:10 PM |
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mattkendall
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It sounds like he is using embedded commands. However if you are able to pick them, then whey won't really have an effect.
My advice is to send more time with your girlfriend and other people and cut this guy out of your life. I have had to cut several people out of my life who were negative and basically holding me back. I know it sounds harsh but there are so many people out there that you can meet who will have a great impact on your life and help you improve, rather than trying to use NLP (in a bad way) against you.
Remember you get whatever you put out. So if this dude is using NLP for bad intentions (otherwise known as the dark side), then it will come back to bite him on the ass! Use your skills for good and it also comes back on you, but in a good way.
Matt
Matt
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| Re: test for negative content |
| Posted On Dec 22, 2007 at 12:19 PM |
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mattkendall
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It sounds like he is using embedded commands. However if you are able to pick them, then whey won't really have an effect.
My advice is to send more time with your girlfriend and other people and cut this guy out of your life. I have had to cut several people out of my life who were negative and basically holding me back. I know it sounds harsh but there are so many people out there that you can meet who will have a great impact on your life and help you improve, rather than trying to use NLP (in a bad way) against you.
Remember you get whatever you put out. So if this dude is using NLP for bad intentions (otherwise known as the dark side), then it will come back to bite him on the ass! Use your skills for good and it also comes back on you, but in a good way.
Matt
Matt
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| Re: test for negative content |
| Posted On Dec 29, 2007 at 3:06 AM |
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WarriorLite
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Quote:
Sounds to me like you have more then one problem. Why would you want this guy as a friend when you think he is going to manipulate you in a bad way?
Etienne |
1. We have a lot of common interests
2. we is good company (anyway)
3. similar things seem to happen to me with many people, so I suspect I partly create such problems. I might either attract such people or see things which do not exist.
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| Re: test for negative content |
| Posted On Dec 29, 2007 at 3:57 AM |
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WarriorLite
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Quote:
I have had to cut several people out of my life who were negative and basically holding me back.
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Me too. But there are new ones.
Quote:
Remember you get whatever you put out. So if this dude is using NLP for bad intentions (otherwise known as the dark side), then it will come back to bite him on the ass! Use your skills for good and it also comes back on you, but in a good way.
Matt
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I am curious what makes you think so.
Is it faith based on some teachings or enlightenment,
belief/conviction based on experiences/observations,
or maybe understanding of some process?
Greetings,
Warrior L
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| Re: test for negative content |
| Posted On Dec 30, 2007 at 1:05 PM |
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caputmartem
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Allright I am going to assume that this is good friend.
You said that this happens with more then one person. Could you explain what you meant, do they all try to manipulate you or do they disprove of you?
Etienne
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| Re: test for negative content |
| Posted On Dec 30, 2007 at 3:59 PM |
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jamesc
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Personally i think it sound like you have a "gut instinct." You some how know some thing is up.
What do you think it might be?
I dont know because Im not in your shoes, but maybe he is jealous of the attention you are giving your gf by going away on a trip. Thats what I would think by a disapproving tone.
But are you realy close friends?
Also decide is this guy a friend you want to keep around or one that is more trouble in the long term.
but it sounds like there is a hidden problem, if you cant get to the root of it, then It will be easier just to let him go. There are plaenty more people out there.
Also this reminded me about a post I wanted to write about but forgot. About developing quality friends.
Thanks
James
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| Re: test for negative content |
| Posted On Jan 4, 2008 at 11:08 AM |
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TomVizzini
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Let me jump in here real quick. What I see is that you are uncertain of yourself and your decisions. That is your problem. It is not the problem of the people around you.
Mumbling is not an unconscious method of control. It might just be something he does. most likely it is nothing.
My biggest concern is that this happens with other people.
That means you have a problem that you need to work on. So the question I have is this.
What kind of person is worried about people influencing him?
Tom
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| Re: test for negative content |
| Posted On Jan 4, 2008 at 10:49 PM |
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WarriorLite
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@Etienne
Quote:
Allright I am going to assume that this is good friend.
You said that this happens with more then one person. Could you explain what you meant, do they all try to manipulate you or do they disprove of you?
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Not all and not always. But when you do not watch. I consider it to be a general rule because I can not get enough evidence to disprove it. Not that it's tantamount to them being evil. More like people being monkey. Gotta be watched or they will take your purse and shit on your head. Sure, metaphorically.
@james
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Also this reminded me about a post I wanted to write about but forgot. About developing quality friends.
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I like this idea.
@Tom
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Mumbling is not an unconscious method of control. It might just be something he does. most likely it is nothing.
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This would mean I err by attributing it some MEANing
I am currently in the middle of the book "Reframing", and somewhere it said "no behavior means anything in and of itself, so you can make it mean anything". Is this the right trail? Seems to be of temporary, fake relief.
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What kind of person is worried about people influencing him?
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Not sure how to interpret the question. But let me just shoot.
Someone who sees how easily his confidence is knocked down by others' (often quite possibly) innocent or meaningless remarks. One who seriously hopes to make his live much better to greater benefit of all, mumblers and morons included.
and here's follows the mindset:
if other people's silly remarks make you do stupid things and get lost in doubt for days or weeks - until you learn to overcome this weakness, beware of foul players altogether.
some people stay, most must go.
WL
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| Re: test for negative content |
| Posted On Jan 5, 2008 at 9:17 AM |
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caputmartem
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They will take your purse and shit on your head
LOL  That's priceless.
I have to agree with Tom here, it's not that these people are trying to influence you. It's that you have a problem belief about yourself which makes your suspicious of other people and makes you feel weak.
So answer Toms question again and answer it in this fashion.
A person who is X
And X can't be more the 2 words.
Etienne
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| Re: test for negative content |
| Posted On Jan 5, 2008 at 9:26 AM |
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TomVizzini
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The real problem seems to be that you believe that you are weak or flawed in some way.
You could run and hide or your could take care of the problem.
Living in fear of other people just makes you a prisoner of your own mind. You end up projecting problems that are not there. So let me ask you something. What stops you from asking your friend what he just mumbled?
Tom
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| Re: test for negative content |
| Posted On Jan 6, 2008 at 5:41 PM |
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jwoodin2
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Quote:
Tom: "What kind of person is worried about people influencing him?"
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Hilarious question coming from Tom!
Sneaky Influence? No, that's a myth. He doesn't live here anymore. And I never heard of him.
Quote:
Etienne: "...it's not that these people are trying to influence you. It's that you have a problem belief about yourself which makes you suspicious of other people and makes you feel weak."
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Possibly, but you're drawing conclusions here based on assumptions that may be completely wrong.
Here's my take:
Warrior, it is completely possible that your friend is trying to exert some covert influence over you. You won't find this kind of lame mumbling technique at ES, but it is out there. It is simple mental misdirection: ask a question that makes the person think, and when they *go inside*, you whisper a suggestion.
"Hey War, what was the name of the very first girl you kissed?" ((Treat me to lunch...))
I'll leave it to others to comment on how effective this is. Check Youtube for "Darren Brown" and you'll see all kinds of tricks along these lines.
As for your friend, you say he seems to be linking something to you when you think about your girlfriend. What does this mean? Maybe he's trying to steal her. Maybe he thinks she's trouble, and he wants to protect you. Maybe he's suggesting a threesome! 
Most likely he's just playing with his toys and simply f*cking with you.
How do you deal with it? Being aware is a good start. Keep observing. It's like watching a magician: don't follow the misdirections! If his pattern is ask-questions-then-suggest, don't *go inside* to think of an answer. F*ck right back at him with questions of your own. Play a little.
Observe what he's doing and turn it back around on him. See where it goes from there.
Just my $.02
~John
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| Re: test for negative content |
| Posted On Jan 8, 2008 at 7:06 AM |
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WarriorLite
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Quote:
What stops you from asking your friend what he just mumbled?
Tom |
That I don't trust he will give a sincere answer.
Quote:
So answer Toms question again and answer it in this fashion.
A person who is X
And X can't be more the 2 words.
Etienne |
suspicious
cautious
_____________
@John
Derren Brown? I have searched on youtube and found "Derren Brown - Subliminal Advertising".
Do you believe this is not just bs? There are plenty of video productions on the net, some of them Dealt with here in this forum, too. I mean it all looks attractive here, but the point is whether it's all true, which I doubt.
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| Re: test for negative content |
| Posted On Jan 8, 2008 at 8:30 AM |
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branimir
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Warriorlite,
I think you and I are similar. Back in my NLP days I would also suspect people giving me embedded commands and that would bother me.
Not only that I would also suspect some of my friends are trying to steal my girl. As Tom pointed out , this thing is about you. First of all, as you are overly aware and cautious of his communication, you are most probably creating this stuff. But Even if it is real , you are already cautious and he will get nowhere even if he is actually trying to manipulate you. So chill ...
You gave a couple of good answers to Tom's question, though these seem more like your reaction to the feeling he triggers in you. Now tell me, when all is going well and you feel ok and suddenly you realize he might be manipulating you , what is true about your identity?
And one more, What kind of a person cannot trust others?
Harun
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| Re: test for negative content |
| Posted On Jan 8, 2008 at 10:52 AM |
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WarriorLite
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These are open questions, aren't they?
Could be answered differently on different levels:
- weakling - predators sense you're an easy victim - and the very fact that somebody is trynig to pull your leg is discraceful
- the fact that you have noticed this attempt shows you're a clever guy (uncovering the attempt is a defense in itself)
- nuthing - if at all, it is telling of the other person - but more evidence would be needed
___________________
Seems to me I have already given some answers to this one, so let me think of another one.
Being unable to tell truth from deception, naive person cannot trust others.
Cheers
WL
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| Re: test for negative content |
| Posted On Jan 8, 2008 at 11:07 AM |
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TomVizzini
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I think that we are missing the big picture here. The commands or mumbling do not seem to be working. So maybe you are not as naive as you thought.
Tom
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| Re: test for negative content |
| Posted On Jan 8, 2008 at 2:15 PM |
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branimir
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Yeah I also think so, you are aware of what this friend of yours might be doing. A naive person is someone who doesnt ever realize this stuff. Definitely not you.
So lets say he actually fooled you and got your girl. Whats true about your identity then? This time a more closed question. The answer should be in the form of I am X. What is true about a guy who loses his girlfriend to some other guy? If this hurts, just know that you are in the right direction. Cuz I think if you didnt care about doing a mistake this much you wouldnt need to be overly cautious.
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| Re: test for negative content |
| Posted On Jan 8, 2008 at 3:52 PM |
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WarriorLite
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Quote:
So lets say he actually fooled you and got your girl. Whats true about your identity then? This time a more closed question. The answer should be in the form of I am X. What is true about a guy who loses his girlfriend to some other guy?
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   sucker  
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If this hurts, just know that you are in the right direction. |
Can it be used as a general guideline? Does it have a name in NLP or some other system?
Quote:
if you didnt care about doing a mistake this much you wouldnt need to be overly cautious.
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Shouldn't everyone care amap? The "social context" of such an incident is something to be afraid of: if someone manages to screw your wife, beware of the people.
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| Re: test for negative content |
| Posted On Jan 8, 2008 at 4:34 PM |
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branimir
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Hey,
Quote:
Can it be used as a general guideline? Does it have a name in NLP or some other system? |
Well the usual tendency people have is avoiding something when it feels bad. So usually when you are not swimming in safe waters , ie rationalizing and thinking why things are happening, and instead go to the feeling that you try to avoid , there is allmost always something to discover there. Thats because you never looked there before.
Btw, what we do in here is not NLP related. We work with the 3DMind instead. Its works closely with recent brain science as opposed to NLP's outdated theories and thus gets results much quicker when you identify the real problem.
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Shouldn't everyone care amap? The "social context" of such an incident is something to be afraid of: if someone manages to screw your wife, beware of the people. |
Dude it actually isnt happening. This is your imagination at work scaring you. Ill make a bet and say even if you get yourfriend and wife together and not interfere yourself she would most probably reject him because of her connection to you.That is if he actually made a move. If I were in your shoes I would completely trust my wife and as a result be secure about this situation. Thats why the issue points towards you. If you arent paranoid of this it wont turn into anything. But if you continue percieveing stuff like you do you might create those situations by your responses to their behaviours.
So if you werent a sucker, would you still be paranoid when talking to your friend?
One more q, what kind of a person cannot handle the possibility of someone else being interested in his wife? (In my culture the question I ask would get me banned from the community but I know it does happen, lots of people find friends wifes attractive, but surely that doesnt mean theyll go and screw them) This is a closed question as well...
You are getting there
Harun
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| Re: test for negative content |
| Posted On Jan 8, 2008 at 6:48 PM |
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WarriorLite
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what I meant by "Should not everyone care" was that people are socially taught not to think much of somebody whose woman happens to sleep w/some other man.
My personal viewpoint is far from that. I mean there are more fucktors and I would not be quick to judge some relation just by this.
Yes, I totally agree that women who care do not tend to sleep around.
And that man's partner's overposessiveness is what may paradoxically lead to such misfortune.
So the first q hopefully does not apply.
Q2 No problem with that, for a decade or so.
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