So far here is what we have done. We have learned what assets we have. We have learned to categorize those assets. We have learned that more most people that pain it a show stopper.
What we have also learned is that if there is pain most of your assets DISAPPEAR!
Now I am pretty sure I knew that already but it doesn't help you if I tell you. It only helps if you discover it.
If there were no pain involved how much more could you do?
The inability to deal with pain is a dream killer.
Also notice that the pain is different for everyone. For some it is physical. For some emotional. The result is the same.
What I have seen is that successful people have a completely different definition of pain. To them it is just part of the process.
If you want to swim you better not mind getting wet. If you want to snow ski you are going to get cold. Lots of things that are the most enjoyable in life involve discomfort.
Imagine a football game, American or soccer, where everyone on the field focused on avoiding any collision.....
If you focus on avoiding pain then you become paralyzed.
Here is what I have heard from some of you guys. " I have this one thing that slows me down but AFTER I deal with that things will really get going"
Then years later I hear the same bullshit excuse.
Some of you have made progress but others are still in the same crap type of job or are having the same crap type of life.
Biologically....the higher the emotional experience the LESS access we have to the creative adaptive part of the brain.
THAT is why your resources disappear.
The key is to keep those resources available when challenges come up.
I am going to ask you to try an unreasonable thing. Which should be easy since you all have unreasonable fear of pain.
1 When you think of pain, what is the first emotion that comes into your mind?
2 What action does that emotion generate?
3 Then what happens next?
BTW...My 3 questions about the box....
Can I open it yet or do I have to think of 2 more questions?
Why? Because I know I can deal with it even if it hurts.
Something to think about:
Your comfort zone is your prison.
Your fear is your jailer.
Your pain is your sentence.
Your excuses are your chains.
Your future is the victim.
BTW ...You are doing a great job keeping up. Keep up the good work. The faster you respond the faster I can get to the next step.
Tom
Re: So where to now?
Posted On Nov 29, 2007 at 2:32 PM
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rvicuna
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Joined: Feb 3, 2004 Last Visit: Nov 16, 2008 Posts: 35 e-Points: 27 Location: Ciudad de México View All Posts By rvicuna
1 When you think of pain, what is the first emotion that comes into your mind?
Phisycal pain: oppression, thighness, anguish, anxiety (yes you said first one, but this comes in a combo)
Emotional pain: the same plus add grieve
2 What action does that emotion generate?
physical: physical stress
emotional: stuckiness (is a word?), paralyzed.
3 Then what happens next?
Both: I feel guilty, have remorses,
I like this exercise. Again, it continues to have me thinking. Obviously I'll dedicate some thought a la 3DM
thanks
Haz el bien sin mirar a quién.
Re: So where to now?
Posted On Nov 29, 2007 at 3:09 PM
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tommalley
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Joined: Nov 20, 2007 Last Visit: Sep 18, 2008 Posts: 13 e-Points: 2
1 When you think of pain, what is the first emotion that comes into your mind?
Physical pain, Huge fear
Emotional pain, Resentment, Why should I!!
2 What action does that emotion generate?
Physical, get the fuck out of there, avoid at all costs
Emotional: A withdrawal into myself, problem solving kicks in to find out how to get something similiar without ever having to go down that path.
3 Then what happens next?
Physical, Feel guilty if its something I should have done
Emotional : Haughty pride that I am better than that and anger that everything should be harmonious. Closing off to options like a naughty school child. Ouch
Perhaps?
Re: So where to now?
Posted On Nov 29, 2007 at 4:11 PM
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branimir
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Joined: Jul 24, 2005 Last Visit: Nov 5, 2008 Posts: 30 e-Points: 17 Location: Istanbul View All Posts By branimir
AGREED.
1- Terror
2- Shiver
3- Run away from it,
Get caught up in it( The emotion becomes a problem on its own even if the stimulus dissapear)
Or
Get angry and say I am gonna fight it and go for it. (I mostly do this) - Results in me draining 12 hours worth of battery in an hour.
Lots hitting home here ... a few comments and questions interspersed below.
Quote:
So far here is what we have done. We have learned what assets we have. We have learned to categorize those assets. We have learned that more most people that pain it a show stopper.
What we have also learned is that if there is pain most of your assets DISAPPEAR!
Now I am pretty sure I knew that already but it doesn't help you if I tell you. It only helps if you discover it.
True - and so we all earn another credit at the University of Life !
Quote:
If there were no pain involved how much more could you do?
Yeah, but there IS pain, isn't there, so we need the ability to deal with it. Or do we ? The next bit is very interesting ...
Quote:
What I have seen is that successful people have a completely different definition of pain. To them it is just part of the process.
and
Quote:
If you focus on avoiding pain then you become paralyzed.
Here's where I find it REALLY interesting ...
Quote:
Here is what I have heard from some of you guys. " I have this one thing that slows me down but AFTER I deal with that things will really get going"
Would "I don't know what I want" be one of those "one things" ?
Ok and this also chimed but dissonantly:
Quote:
Biologically....the higher the emotional experience the LESS access we have to the creative adaptive part of the brain.
I'm not quite sure how this sits with what I had previously figured on the idea of taking "change" which was this ... As previously noted, I tend to be very good at starting projects and then at procrastinating their completion. I used to think that this was because, if anything, I was too much in the creative adaptive part of the brain. I guessed that increasing stress and pain was the thing that ultimately forced my hand in to action coming from the primal brain. For me this tends to be panicky and preceded and accompanied by a lot of angst and stress.
Any thoughts on that Tom ?
====
OK, to answer the questions:
Quote:
1 When you think of pain, what is the first emotion that comes into your mind?
2 What action does that emotion generate?
3 Then what happens next?
1. Frustration: Whether it's true or not, it seems to me that I have had a lot of "pain" (in various forms) over very many years. And even though I know that pain is often a precursor to better things, I feel like I have had enough and I want the good things to start ... (now !. And because I have just had a BIG birthday, I really do NOT want to live the rest of my life the way it was in the first part of it !
2. Well, if it counts as an action, it's probably negative internal dialogue: "I gotta do sometihng, but I never seem to get it right, but I gotta do something ...."
3. I feel overwhelmed - even if I do act (which I often do).
This is that part that I feel may be masking the "not sure what I want", if that makes sense !
Quote:
Something to think about:
Your comfort zone is your prison.
Your fear is your jailer.
Your pain is your sentence.
Your excuses are your chains.
Your future is the victim.
Brilliant.
Quote:
BTW ...You are doing a great job keeping up. Keep up the good work. The faster you respond the faster I can get to the next step.
Tom
Thanks - I think we are all responding so well because we can see the value of what you are teaching here ... thanks
Roger
PS - sorry that this is such a long response but it really has triggered lots of ideas in my head, some of them apparently contradictory !
Re: So where to now?
Posted On Nov 29, 2007 at 9:15 PM
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flushers03
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Joined: Mar 28, 2006 Last Visit: Nov 6, 2008 Posts: 16 e-Points: 7
1 When you think of pain, what is the first emotion that comes into your mind?
sadness
2 What action does that emotion generate?
expedient relief
3 Then what happens next?
I'll look for a way to stop the pain..retreat from the discomfort...drink a beer or eat something, go to the gym to run the treadmill. Escape!
BTW...My 3 questions about the box....
Can I open it yet or do I have to think of 2 more questions?
We want to know whats in the box.
It doesn't always occur in this order. It depends on the level of pain and what used to stop me before I'm getting much better in some situations.
[/quote]
[b]Tom396[/color][/b][color=orange]
Re: So where to now?
Posted On Dec 2, 2007 at 6:08 PM
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cbelling
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Joined: Nov 16, 2004 Last Visit: Mar 3, 2008 Posts: 14 e-Points: 4
I am going to ask you to try an unreasonable thing. Which should be easy since you all have unreasonable fear of pain.
1 When you think of pain, what is the first emotion that comes into your mind?
2 What action does that emotion generate?
3 Then what happens next?
1) Fear
2) Avoidance
3) I distract myself in ways that allow me to avoid the fear instead of confronting it head on and accepting that some fear / pain is part of the growth process.
Re: So where to now?
Posted On Dec 3, 2007 at 3:31 AM
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rusty
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Joined: Jun 16, 2004 Last Visit: Mar 16, 2008 Posts: 9 e-Points: 3
If there were no pain involved how much more could you do?
Much more, it would be like taking away the consequences. I would be flexible enough to get myself in and out of situations and if i screwed up it wouldn't be the end of the world
1 When you think of pain, what is the first emotion that comes into your mind?
im never going to make it, something to do with getting caught,
Im scared people will think im weird
im not sure iv been strugling with this question
2 What action does that emotion generate?
Avoidance, I just want to get myself out of the situation so i don't make a fool of myself
3 Then what happens next?
I think about it over and over again and try and figer out what i did wrong and then i try to figer out what it is that is keeping me from been the way i want to be
Re: So where to now?
Posted On Dec 5, 2007 at 8:26 PM
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Erland
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Joined: May 31, 2006 Last Visit: Nov 2, 2008 Posts: 2 e-Points: 2
. And because I have just had a BIG birthday, I really do NOT want to live the rest of my life the way it was in the first part of it !
