Some of the things that have noticed lately have brought me to the point of asking what power truly is.
Is power truly the ability to enforce your will on another person? Is power being in control at all times? Is power the ability to manipulate others? Is power control?
I'm not going to get into a bunch of theory as to why I think some people find it necessary to dominate all situations.
When I came up with smurfing I thought of it as a way of gently moving someone out of your way. The responses I got about smurfing was more about controlling other people rather than getting what you want. I teach smurfing and rapport at the same time. I'm amazed at how many people are more interested in pushing people away rather than attracting people.
The does this give them a sense of power?
I can do some pretty amazing things. There was a time when being able to do these things made me feel a little strange. Knowing that I have the ability to influence others and change their lives with a few simple words might be perceived as powerful. I never really thought of it that way. It did make me feel more responsible about the things that I did and what I said.
I've met many people have learned this technology that suddenly think that they have to control everything they say and everyone around them. That is quite a task for anyone.
In my mind true power comes from knowing that you do not always have to be in control. You do not always have to be the leader. Sometimes, maybe most of the time, power is being secure enough to allow others to feel powerful without feeling threatened.
I guess I have seen too many people use the bulldozer method to feel powerful. In other words, the more people you can push around the more powerful you are. I have never seen this work in the long-term.
The most important power in the world that I can think of is the ability to leave people feeling better than they did when you arrived. That is a gift that is true magic. That is the basis of almost everything that Kim and I teach.
Originally Posted: Aug 20, 2008 at 9:43 PM Last Updated: Aug 20, 2008 at 9:43 PM
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